This Buried Life by Emmanuelle Nathan

GUEST REVIEW: This Buried Life by Emmanuelle Nathan



SUMMARY: Bella Swan is content with her career and her new life in London but feels that there is still something missing. Will a chance encounter with sinister yet intriguing stranger hold the answer to what she truly desires? AU. Rated M for lemony reasons.

Yellowglue says:

First:

But often, in the world’s most crowded streets, / But often, in the din of strife, / There rises an unspeakable desire / After the knowledge of our buried life; / A thirst to spend our fire and restless force / In tracking out our true, original course; / A longing to inquire / Into the mystery of this heart which beats / So wild, so deep in us - to know / Whence our lives come and where they go...
-Matthew Arnold’s “This Buried Life”

And then:

I pull my coat more tightly around me. These British January mornings are freezing and dark, and I’m not quite awake yet. I am still trying to feel more human as I finish the ten minute walk to the Underground station. This is where I know I’ll be brutally woken up by all the other commuters...
-Emmanuelle Nathan’s “This Buried Life” - Chapter One

I don’t know that I’ve ever read a story where the opening lines reflect so clearly the lines it drew inspiration from. Arnold (poet and critic) speaks of a kind of self-discovery, during the busiest and hardest of times - an awaking from what we’ve always been, to who (or what) we truly may be. It’s an unignorable invitation to immediately begin questioning and uncovering.

Emmanuelle has paralleled her protagonist’s opening efforts to this sudden shake from what she thought was lucidity, perfectly. The not quite awake feeling in the crowded Underground station, trying to pull her coat tighter, trying to feel more human... it’s not someone inhuman that we’re reading though. It’s Bella: American in England, wounded once by love and on the lonesome defense, sought-after Harvard grad working at one of the most prestigious museums in the world.

And one of the other commuters does wake something in her. Brutal, like Emmanuelle said, and unspeakable, like Arnold did. A longing to inquire into the mystery, so unspeakable in fact, that soon she not only refuses to speak of it - but more often than not - to allow herself to even think thoughts regarding it.

Scenes written out according to days of the week, we follow Bella through her responsible routines. Perpetually playing it safe, her work and her research have become her buried life, until one morning something deeper and more wild than she’s ever known rises up in her. She cannot look away. She cannot put her finger on it (mentally, or physically). She cannot process or pick apart the passenger whose stare has pierced her; whose slight grin has frightened, angered, and amazed her.

This is a man who’s crossed the line without touching, speaking, or even being anywhere near her. Yet she’s invaded, and when her mind as well as her heart tell her to leave without a second thought or glance, she does.

Every time.

Only to be brought back into his line of vision, and eventually to where his hands and words can reach. Slowly. Little bits of him at a time, that are heavy with mystery and a modern kind of darkness, are revealed. You, just like Bella, have no idea who (or what) he is, where he came from, or what exactly he wants. You have an idea, based on the way you feel more than hear his breath, and that thing that he does with just one finger -

He makes no attempt to touch me anywhere else and my mind can’t understand how my body can be reacting so strongly to a touch I would never have imagined as being erotic. Except here... now... with him... He wants this. He wants me at his mercy and weak. (- Chapter Five)

Her body right? That’s what he wants... Right?

When I read, I read just as much for the quality of the writing as I do for the story itself. An amazing plot line or awesome character idiosyncrasies, development, and growth, are next to nil if the writing fails to carry them through with due justice. At the same time, awe-inspiring and articulate writing doesn’t do much without an actual story to tell. Finding a tale that has both, that goes beyond your expectations is pretty rare. And wonderful.

I was recc’d this story with a “trust me - just read chapter one”. And now I’m all but demanding you do the same. Trust me. Just read chapter one. If you get to the end of it and don’t want to continue to the next, I’ll be dumbfounded, because I’m betting you can’t not keep reading.

“Don’t ever make me wait again.”

This Edward is the exact incarnation of tall, dark, and dangerous. It’s his mystery that makes and keeps him deviant, and completely captivating.

“I mean it.”


Dihenydd says:

I am not a fan of horror or scary stories but I love a story that is so atmospheric you can feel yourself drawn unwillingly into the authors imagination. This is one such story.
It began as a one shot for the Show Us Your Dark Side Contest but has been altered and extended.
Bella is a high functioning professional who has recently moved to London for her dream job in the British Museum. Her life revolves around her research, partly because it fascinates her but also as a refuge from an emotionless life. A painful previous relationship has her avoiding any romantic entanglements. She is rational and intelligent trying to hold her own in an intensely competitive academic environment. In such a situation job security is not a given and rivalry can be vitriolic, petty and personal. This is so well conveyed that the author must have first hand knowledge.
Bella is tied to her routines and travels to work every day on the tube. She becomes aware that someone is watching her – and not being furtive about it.

“His stare is not natural, not for a Brit, not for any nationality for that matter. It's beginning to creep me out, and again I think he knows it. I frown. In response his smile widens. He is now leering at me. I am self-conscious and suddenly angry. He is getting off on this.”

As days progress his behavior becomes more forward and controlling. This is not however a titillating exhibitionist smutfic. It is actually quite scary as seen through Bella's inner turmoil. She is a smart woman who is aware of the dangerous nature of what she is undertaking and the impact it may have on her entire life.
Although the element of danger starts to feel like an added inducement to this unusual seduction, Bella is genuinely frightened. She is however also aroused, against all her instincts and logic. As things escalate her feelings of shame also increase. She is not that sort of person, she is not wanton. She is terrified that she will be found out and not only lose her dignity and her credibility but also her job, which she loves above all else. Yet there are moments when she wants to lose control and not be so restrained.

{The fact is that I know I am here now because no matter how scared and wrong this is, no matter how out of character this is for me, I want to know what happens next. My whole life I've been cautious and sheltered. This is a chance to walk on the wild side, even if it's just to dip my toe in. I'll be in a public place.}
{This is foolhardy. This is dangerous. This is the most exhilarating thing I have ever done…}

The story could not be better named, the whole feeling is one of claustrophobia from the physical description of the crowded train and the intensity of sexual repression to the stifling pettiness of academic competitiveness.

Of course the stalker is Edward, though we do not know if he is vampire or human. He is however controlling and not gentle or reassuring. In fact he seems to get off on her fear and uncertainty.

{"You are to be completely quiet. Any noise and this will end immediately. Nod if you understand".
I nod. He watches intently as I bite my lip. His eyes narrow and I nearly shout out as he suddenly pinches my upper thigh. I certainly wasn't expecting this and it stings like hell. Whether he likes it or not I am very glad I've been biting my lip. It has stopped me from making any noise, so I continue to do so.
"Impressive." Is his only comment as he gently strokes the area he pinched a moment ago, soothing away the pain and shock. Now that I know that he is not beyond doing such things my body is on alert, hyper-aware of where he is touching and of his body.}

Beyond everything this is a tale of an unconventional relationship that is told without titillation and captures so well the sense of danger and taboo. Not just real physical danger but the danger of exposure and subsequent humiliation (and possibly the loss of her job which is not just her livelihood but the basis of her feelings of self worth). Her fear that her own body is betraying her and that she is out of control adds to the sense of foreboding.

This is all conveyed so chillingly and deliciously. You would be foolish to miss out on a story this consummately written.

AnAnomolly says:

Bella Swan is content with her career and her new life in London but feels that there is still something missing. Will a chance encounter with sinister yet intriguing stranger hold the answer to what she truly desires?

I can’t rightly tell you how much I love, Love, LOVE the story that Lambie asked for me to guest rec on the Darkward Blog today. It delves into the darkest corners of the human psyche and will suck you in, chew you up & lick its lips greedily after it’s had its wicked way with you.

I have this thing, a penchant if you will, for an Edward who is controlling, domineering with a bit of possessiveness thrown in. Very rarely with that do you also get a Bella who is head-strong & forthwith. In This Buried Life by Emmanuel Nathan, you get that & so very, very much more. This story has incredible writing, beautifully narrated descriptives and a hell of a lot of ~Unf~.

Right from the start you’re taken on a ride to the clandestine (and maybe not-so-much-so) meeting of our fair Bella and Edward. The story is set in London, and if you know me, you know that I heart all things London (aside from the shiteous exchange rate.) Reading this, it’s like you’re on the tube with Bella experiencing Edward for the first time.

The lights come back on… and holy fuck… I am greeted by the most startling eyes I have ever seen. I never knew eyes could be this color. He stares right at me. Deliberately. It is all the more shocking given how everyone else always avoids eye contact. It's not an inquisitive stare. It's feral, full of want and desire, and something else I can only describe as hunger. It's, quite frankly, scary.

And believe you me; it is an experience to read. The chills started at the nape of my neck and spread quickly all over. The first chapter alone will call Time Out for a knicker change.

As it continues, you’re taken on Bella’s journey to the Museum each morning and given pieces of each day’s events which introduce you to external characters where the plot comes into focus. You learn who & what she’s up against, with bites throughout to nibble on, and provided a peek into one seriously hot & somewhat sinister Edward.

As she hears his voice for the first time, her mind & body are conflicted and she doesn’t know how to react.

"Don't ever make me wait again."

What? I stare back at him, incredulous. I open my mouth to ask him who the fuck he thinks he is.

"I mean it."

I close my mouth not saying a word.

He is disarming and sexy with a dash of frightening power.

"Tomorrow you are going to wear your wrap around dress again." It's a statement, not a question. The words startle me out of my haze.

"Aren't you?" Again, it's said more as a demand rather than a question, and I manage only one response.

"Yes."

It’s hard for her to reconcile the guilt, shame and fear along with the conjunction of nervous, consuming desire for him.

As the story stands now, there are only six chapters, but each one packs a punch. Chapter seven is in the works and a teaser has been posted on the Twilighted Forum. It’s hard for me to write this and not want to give too much away, but I’m positive you won’t be disappointed.

Go forth & read. Trust me on this one, I don’t rec fic lightly.

This Buried Life on FF.net
This Buried Life forum on Twilighted.