Tangerine Dream by YellowGlue

AngryBadgerGirl says:

There are so many ‘taboo’ fanfiction stories out there, more than one can count. They range in premise from sexual slavery, BDSM, ‘Darkward’ vampire, to everything in between. To be perfectly honest, I don’t read a whole heck of a lot of them. Truth be told, I prefer stories that are relatively low on the angst scale, so that would preclude most, if not all, of these fics from my reading list.

I have a handful of exceptions to this rule, and one perfect example is Tangerine Dream by YellowGlue. If you want to judge this one-shot purely for its shock value, I will be bold enough to say that you’re grossly underestimating its worth as a quality piece of writing. There is so much more to it than that.

My first reason for considering it to be so good is that the writing is superb. Indulge me for a moment and look objectively at how the story is written, regardless of its content. (I’ll get back to that later.) There’s an amazing tone and ‘cadence’ to the narration, for one. Yellow’s words are almost poetic, rich with metaphor, simile, and imagery.
The eroticism just jumps off the page—it’s written with intensity and incredible emotion. There’s no ‘smut’ here, if that’s what you’re thinking. Calling it just ‘smut’ is an unfair dismissal of the profound passion and energy that flows throughout Edward’s mind during the entire story. Here’s an example:
I kiss her hot skin and I taste all that vanilla mandarin sweetness I remember from all those years. I lick her and lap her sweet-dream-creamsicle innocence onto my tongue. I tease her and feel her tense and writhe under me, hear her cry out in sugary joy, feel her cum for me. Once. Twice. Three times over.
Another device Yellow uses that I love is word repetition. Normally, writers are told to avoid it, but she uses it to add a sort of rhythm that’s almost like poetic meter. I did a search within the story for the word ‘all’ and it appears 150 times within its total 7.5K word-length. Edward describes Bella, over and over, using the same syntax and structure, but it’s not jarring and doesn’t distract the reader at all. In fact, it just pulls you into his head even further. Here are snippets of what I mean:
All consuming...all sweet and soft…all vanilla sugar and mandarin blossom…all dream-creamsicle sweetness…all innocence and lullabies and building blocks and bedtime stories... all milk and honey like promised paradise…all ripped jeans and clean laundry…all white cotton and her little toes all painted periwinkle blue and my self control was raging.
As you read the ‘all’ descriptions piece by piece, you see them gradually shift from describing her as a child and a representation of innocence, to ultimately, an object of desire and the complete catalyst that causes his lose of self-control.
This component of the story is the perfect segue to the ‘taboo’ aspect of the premise. Edward is practically driven insane from the conflict he feels. His bloodlust draws him to Bella when she was nothing more than a toddler. I’ll be bold enough to say right now that if Edward and Bella had met when she was that young in canon, he would have felt the same exact reaction to her blood. She is his singer, after all. Canon Edward would have surely felt as if he were every last bit of strength not to drain her, just as he did in the original saga when they first met.
But the notion of their meeting when she is much younger forces us to look more closely at the idea of bloodlust versus actual lust. At some point in canon, Edward’s bloodlust ebbs when his romantic feelings for Bella begin to emerge. But I don’t think SMeyer did an entirely thorough job of delving into the ‘why’ and ‘how’. She brought Edward and Bella together in a very idealized and romantic way, a la two star-crossed lovers like Romeo and Juliet, or Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. Something just ‘pulls them’ together.
Tangerine Dream looks at that transition from hunger to love with a heck of a lot more detail. Edward spends years fighting the urge to drink from Bella, while at the same time, involving himself in her life in some subtle, peripheral way in order to watch and protect her. It’s the ultimate practice in tortured restraint. But I think the years of standing back and watching do a few things to him: namely, his willpower and resistance to harming her grows substantially.
Through that willpower, his instinct to protect her grows and he begins to realize that he could only care this much if he loved her. His protectiveness goes well beyond her physical wellbeing. He becomes upset and almost agitated when she’s emotionally hurt as well. Her feelings of inadequacy and loneliness genuinely affect him, and he wants to take that hurt away too.
In the end, they both profess their profound feelings for one another. Bella is not as innocent as Edward imagines her, not by any means. (Raise your hand if you think she left her mitten in his car on purpose.) She knew Edward was watching her and felt comfort from it.
So rather than looking at this strictly by the age difference, by when and how they met, and judging the story simply on those points merely misses the picture entirely. Yes, the taboo is there, but I think Yellow does an extraordinary job of using it as a vehicle to examine other elements from canon and weave them together in a way that’s beautifully written and extremely compelling.

EunHye says:


My review of Tangerine Dreams. I'm one of the many, right? So I'll keep it short. :)

Tangerine Dreams, a fliffity, fluffity citrusy one shot, sounds like a twisty, lemony Dr. Seuss rhyme. And in some parts, it is. The words are rythmic, even upbeat, but they didn't distract me from the topic, which is the unconventional relationship between a human and a really old (but supersexy) vampire. It started with the girl as an infant, progresses through the years, culminating into a sexual act that is agreed by mutual consent but not between adults.

Sex between an older man and a girl under the age of consent is always suspect, as society dictates that minors should not have sex with adults. I don't mind it in fics, as long as it's written with skill and restraint. Tangerine Dreams, luckily, exceeds in both. There is nothing amateurish or clumsy in the way Sarah writes. Her words are smooth, like Edward himself, and tight, like the way he feels. She draws you in and takes you for a rollercoaster ride of Edward's emotions as he dances around temptation, torturing himself, before he accepts, calmly, that the only way to end his suffering is to give in to his obsession. She takes you round the bend as Edward manipulates Bella by initiating close contact, giving her the attention and gentleness that she needs and the moment she reciprocates his affection, he succumbs to his wants. It's wrong, and yet, Sarah's words made me cheer for them.

But then, Tangerine is not only about the sex, although everything did seem to lead up to it. It's about Edward fighting his nature. He's a vampire, and he doesn't operate within the bounds of what is socially acceptable (like drinking blood or not dying can ever be socially acceptable) but he aspires to these conventions...up until he doesn't. Which makes him, ironically, very human.

An aside, age of consent in the Philippines (my country) is 12, as long as the other person is not more than 10 years his or her senior. Which goes to show that even established communities differ in the perception of what's taboo and what's not. If humans can't decide what is what among themselves, how much so for vampires?

Maylin says:


This week saw the beginning of the Beyond the Pale competition, which challenges writers to take a fresh look at taboo themes. It is no coincidence, therefore, that we have chosen to review Tangerine Dream this month.
This one-shot was originally an entrant in a contest which had as a requirement that any relationship should be illegal. Tangerine Dream has been removed from Fanfiction.net twice after some rather esoteric complaints and has received some very vitriolic flaming as well as effusive praise. It is now only available to read on the author’s blog.
For me the attraction of reading stories about taboo themes is not for the shock value or the titillation of something ‘naughty’ but from a genuine belief that there are few absolutes in morality (maybe none at all). Rather there are vast grey areas where given a particular set of circumstances nothing is intrinsically ‘bad’. I happen to know that grey is Yellowglue’s favorite color.
I want to read something so well written and thought provoking that it turns my assumptions and prejudices on their head. Tangerine Dream is one of those stories.
Ostensibly this is a story of Edward as a vampire posing as a 31 year old human. He first encounters Bella at the age of 2 years and is immediately obsessed with her. He watches as she grows up waiting for her to attain womanhood, until he can wait no longer. Although Bella’s age is never mentioned she is undoubtedly a minor.
This could be viewed as pedophilia. However age of consent is a fluid area even in law. It varies considerably in different cultures with the US probably having one of the highest (18 years in some States). Even then the Law is not necessarily protecting those that need to be protected or allowing freedom to those who are mature enough not to be exploited. Youth does not necessarily make one vulnerable, nor age a predator.
We do however have a duty to protect the vulnerable and in this story Bella is undoubtedly vulnerable. Not only because of her age but also through appalling parenting.
Is Edward a predator though? This question hangs there throughout the story and is what adds that edge of darkness that transforms this into something you really engage with rather than consume.
“Her crimson called out to me; a siren, it sang my name in her tiny baby voice, begged me, confessed she was mine all mine for the taking.”
In the beginning his focus is her blood. He desires her blood. Her age is immaterial – too young – too old it makes no difference; unlike a pedophile whose focus would be her youth and vulnerability.
Although his bloodlust gradually grows into so much more he is still determined to wait. Although he is not human he still feels constrained by societal taboos and needs to continually justify his behavior to himself.
“Waiting when you don’t know exactly what it is you’re waiting for, only that you must wait, is always impatient waiting.”
At is “It felt too odd, I felt too rotten in trying to justify that much. She’s a child, years later yes, but still just a baby, and I a grown man. If I was waiting, I decided I would wait as long as it took for her to grow into a woman; when I could at least be seen with her and not raise eyebrows.”
His resolve is stretched, though, as he hears her blood quite literally singing to him the more contact he has with her.
“My mind racing with all the hundreds of ways I knew I could get her alone and bleed her dry and calm all of the universe with just one drink.”
Ultimately it is she who makes the first move. She has a loveless, uncertain life and through their intermittent encounters through her life sees him as someone she can rely on and feel safe with. His feelings are overwhelmingly protective and at every stage he asks her permission. “Is this OK” becomes a mantra.

“I smiled, my whole self soaring again. “Yes. If that’s okay?” I asked, yet again and determined to always ask her permission; wanting so much to please her, to keep her safe.”
In the end though what captivated me immediately was the writing style. Elegant and original, the narrative is lent poetic intensity by the repetition of key phrases and the rhythm of the wording. Her use of adjectives is so sensual you feel you can almost taste the words. This evocative, almost nostalgic style imbues the story with an innocence that contrasts with the subject matter.
If you want to read something beautiful yet ambiguous and thought provoking, there is no better place to start than with this under-appreciated gem.

Tangerine Dream is available on YellowGlue's Blog.