Beyond the Pale
This month’s Shot in the Dark is a bit different. When trawling for a good one shot to read often the best hunting ground is competitions. Since we are interested in the Dark fics we thought it would be educational to look at a competition dedicated to just that.
The contest was by picture prompt with the following remit:-
“A contest for one-shot stories inspired by images that imply secret desires, habits, and happenings. Fetish and deviance. The forbidden. The socially UNacceptable. What goes onbehind closed doors only. What pushes beyond the pale. The otherwise untouchable. The taboo”
For this months posting I asked all the judges, entrants and any readers who wished to send in short reviews for any story they wished. Here they are divided up by the pictures that inspired them.
I made no attempt to pick which stories should be represented so if you think one has been neglected please add a review for it in the comments.
Silent Signs by LAli-Cat:
Reading "Silent Signs" I felt for Alice's miserable existence. I don't think I like this Jasper very much, he has the power to change Alice and set her free, but he keeps coming back and using her. He doesn't even talk to her! Poor Alice is trapped, during the day haunted by the demons within her own mind, and at night - by useless hope for her red-eyed demon to come and free her. This is a very well written story.
Review by Detochkina
There really is nothing more dangerous than an addiction to another individual. It takes the highs and lows of narcotics and libations to another level, almost unfathomable if you haven’t experienced it yourself. Silent Signs captures Alice’s addiction, by focusing on elements everyone can understand - secrecy, cravings, pushing to elevate the high to the next level. Anxiety until your next fix, the cycle of damage. Just one more...But picks powerful language to really drive home the point that Alice’s addiction to Jasper is even more dangerous than the the presumptions her care takers operate under.
Review by snshyne
The Loved One by Detochkina and Rags88
I’m a much bigger fan of “show”, than I am of “tell”. Narration that is simply “Bella is 22. She and her friend went to school. They were good kids.” Boring. Fine, so you’ve laid a plot bunny out for me. Awesome.
What’s not boring, is taking the time to show readers what each character looks like, through one another’s eyes. Letting me hear the curiosity in a tone of voice instead of just telling me Edward is... curious.
And oh, he is.
The Loved One jumps right into the thick of things and assumes you’re paying enough attention while reading, to answer the questions you have, for yourself. We discover things the way Edward does: fumbling around in the dark, trusting Bella to lead the way.
As they walk, the dark and the quiet doesn’t bother Edward, but the smell does. It’s overwhelmingly, almost sickeningly sweet here...
She extends her hand and pats the wall, looking for something... The round button in the wall is lit up in weak plastic yellow and they can hear the whirling sounds of the hard working motor in the elevator shaft.
Edward has an idea...
Without giving too much away - because I really, really want you to uncover this for yourselves - this Edward is one of the sweettalkin-est, smoothwalkin-est, creepyhot freakweirdos I’ve found (please, please don’t take offense Rags and Detka, I LOVE him. And I mean this in ONLY the best way). His interests are definitely beyond the pale, and it’s the tender (also: hot), careful, and respectful exploration of them that I adore.
Bella’s willingness to explore his controversial interests with him is what made it great.
Here’s something (a place) that’s very personally sacred and intimate (not in a sexual way, but in a close-to-her-heart way) to Bella, and something that’s relentlessly intriguing, taboo, fetishistic, and curious to Edward. Coming to terms to such a paradox within a relationship is bound to be complicated, but I loved how willing and open-minded (and open-hearted) these two characters were with one another.
What they’re exploring is truly dark, but they keep one another in the light.
“There’s nothing wrong with looking, and you promised...”
Between Edward’s brash honesty, painted by a wonderfully foul mouth, and Bella’s softer, gentler version of the same truths, we take “the tour” of what some people accept as a part of life, and others live in fear of. We discover along with them, things that are hidden from most people, until we’re finally exactly where Edward wants to be with his own Loved One.
Sensing her hesitation, he stops, takes her small hand and places it over his heart, covering it with his. Tenderly looking into her eyes, he whispers to her, “Remember, I promised that you can trust me? And to show you that you’re my loved one forever?”
Bella nods again, and Edward breathes next to her alabaster cheek, “Let me.”
Go. Read. Now. And join me, please, in urging the authors toward the continuation they’ve promised. Once you’ve finished the last paragraph, you’ll want it just was much as me.
Review by Yellowglue
The Rabbit and the Fox by Bookjunkie1975
In a contest full of stories exploring deep, dark, and occasionally disturbing, themes, BookJunkie1975 did something no other author was able to do. She wrote something sweet and fluffy and took us all by surprise. The Rabbit and the Fox was so delightfully different it simply had to have a judge's mention for 'sweet relief'.
Review by Sweetp-1
I was giddy to read Bookjunkie1975's words after devouring her OJWard contest entry. She has such a knack for creating relationships between characters. They're so solid, it makes you ponder why they weren't written that way by Mz. Meyer herself!
Also, when someone uses the words "coquettishly' and "rotund" to describe their main characters you know it's going to be a great story.
I knew nothing about this particular flavor of fetish before reading BookJunkie's funny interlude between Ms. Cope and coach Clapp. Now, however, I wish there was a Facebook application that would create a name for my imaginary, fluffy face.
“Shelly twisted and turned in front of the mirror and Norman watched as her long, bushy tail swayed provocatively back and forth with every swing of her full hips.
"What?" she blinked up at him. "Don't you think I'm foxy?" She burst out in a fit of giggles that only grew louder when she inadvertently snorted.”
Maybe it’s the images of my elementary school gym teacher and the office secretary that make this one-shot so hilarious. Maybe it’s the children’s song I know that asks the singer to “shake your bushy tail.” Whatever it is, I am so grateful to Mz. Bookjunkie for braving the dark side of this contest and coming up with something truly taboo and tummy tickling.
Reviewed by Portia Khalo
In a lot of ways this was the bravest and edgiest of all the entries because ‘it went there’. It showed us that even taboos have there funny side and in its own way made fun of us all for seeking the taboo. Very tongue in cheek.
Review by dihenydd
My Heart of Darkness by Einfich Mach
This one shot haunts me. I'll be driving in my Mommy-wagon, trying to remember my to-do list, and suddenly the unspoken threads of the story will seep into my mind. You know it's a good one when it creeps up on you.
Honestly, I don't want to tell you a thing about the plot because I just want you to read it. Devour it and let it sit inside your mind, and slowly sink into your heart, and bleed out from there until you're moved to leave Mz. Mach a review and tell her how magnificently she captured this Bella and her Edward.
I feel like I've peeked at a document i shouldn't have seen, but can't turn away. "It has been a week since she made the offer, and I've woken every night since that afternoon in this condition. Every part of me wants to give in to her request. It is my deepest darkest fantasy, but what moves me more is the idea that I could share it with her."
Go now! Shoo! You have reading to do.
Review by Portia Khalo
There are very few stories I could honestly call chilling. This is absolutely one of them. Bone chilling and horrifyingly intriguing.
Review by morethanmyself
I find it difficult to put into words how this story makes me feel, and yet I know exactly what it does to me. It's beautiful, stirs an immense emotional reaction, and when Edward is dreaming about entering Bella, even on the second read when I know exactly what is happening (which I didn't quite on the first go), it's incredibly arousing. What does that say about me?
Review by vampireisthenewblack
For me this was definitely the story that captured the spirit of the contest the mos. It dealt with a very sensationalist subject in a way that was almost philosophical. I had heard about fetishes like this and they at once repelled and fascinated me. Mostly because I couldn’t understand the motivation. While I still don’t understand on an intellectual or emotional level I think I might have an inkling at a visceral level now.
Review by dihenydd
Shattered Dawn by Nitareality
I love the idea of this story, a viable alternative to Breaking Dawn. It actually feels more plausible and true to the characters, in some ways. But, my favorite thing about Nita's writing, and this story, is her ability to create graphic, gruesome images with only a few words, forcing the reader to fill in the horrific blanks.
Review by morethanmyself
What I really liked about this story was the similarity to really convoluted whodunnits. There was a way to commit the perfect crime and get away with it, but can Edward pull it off. Very cleverly thought out.
Review by dihenydd
Little Foxes by AmelieGray
Written in third person, present tense, and with the most chillingly detached voice I may ever have read; Little Foxes is a look into the lives of two characters: Bree and Riley.
Silently trudging under the weight of a violent past; Bree has come to live with Riley, his parents, and his less than kind brothers. The tale that unfolds from there is one of horror, hesitation, and hopeless hand washing.
There’s a motif that keeps cropping up that gives the almost clinically cold narration a kind of poetic feel - eyes. Bree’s eyes that are always wide, but seeing nothing.
Bree’s eyes with nothing in them. Nothing at all except for brown and black pupil.
The story is told through Riley’s eyes. We see what he doesn’t want to see. We turn away when he turns away. And it’s written with such a matter of fact tone, that when he did wrong, I felt the chill of guilt in my own gut, like I was just as much at fault because I read it.
What I liked most about this piece was that I felt it was the story that walked right up to the line - to so many lines - straightened it’s back, turned it’s nose up, and spread it’s arms to lay out one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever read.
When I was bouncing around ideas for this contest with some of the other judges, one of the things that struck me was the idea of a haunting image as opposed to a simply grotesque image. For me, an image that is tale-telling without being obviously horrendous is much longer lasting and more intensely impacting than the straight-up shock-for-the-sake-of-shocking image.
Think: single child’s shoe on the side of the road (this is the image we started with).
Think: bloody gloves (Little Foxes).
Think: a dirt-stained face and creaky floor boards (Little Foxes).
Think: a fly, half open (Little Foxes).
Think: There is still a film of steam over the window; his fathers shaving cream hovering precariously on the edge. The soap bubbles cling to the bottom of the sink, as his hands stroke up and down his wrists - slowly at first, but building tempo, until his nails are gripping at the skin.
(Little Foxes.)
These are the details that make it real. That stick with you long after reading.
Without ever crossing the line she’s sneering at, or burning the envelope she’s pushing with all her might; AmelieGray meticulously plants some of the most powerful imagery for your eyes as well as your ears. I don’t hesitate to flounce without the slightest hesitation when an author writes about terror with an exploitative pen. But Amelie handles these ideas with careful respect and has captured exactly what I wanted from this contest - the haunting image. The happenings in this story will stay with me for a terrifyingly, long, long time. Read it. But be warned: once you have, you can’t unread it.
Review by Yellowglue
Release by WritingBabe
The thing I loved most about this tale was how the picture prompt chosen was woven so delicately through the whole story. Although it was one of my personal favorite images, it's a difficult one to write directly into a plot line without giving away the ending. WritingBabe did it brilliantly.
There are multiple, subtle, taboos in this piece as well that made me think about what a "taboo' really is. When it's a personal secret, a treasured taboo, it affects only one person. The number of people that carry the secret, however, don't diminish the weight of knowing.
Bella is sneaky here, protective of her battered heart, and is able to accomplish something much like canon Bella's slipping away from Alice and Jasper to meet James at the ballet studio. "She had done it, severed the last tie. And left her heart the only place she could." WritingBabe writes, and the sepia toned words she's woven give way to a red streak.
There's a mystery here, wrapped in Jane Austen's words and tainting the tied-up ending to Bella's narrative. Who is he who gives punishment? I hope there are many, many readers to puzzle on the answer.
Reviewed by Portia Khalo
I'm guessing someone else will probably mention Release, but I had to just pop in and say that this was by far one of the most angst-ridden stories. It hurt so much, but if you're into that sort of thing, it's definitely something you'd love!
Review by Sweet Dulcinea
This contest had more than its fair share of new writers entering and all three were exceptional stories. This one blew us away with its complexity and the way it played on our preconceptions. At first I though it was a vampfic because it seemed so cannon. Then all the twisty little details leave us as confused as Bella. Unlike canon, when Edward New Moons you actually feel like he has really gone (and good riddance). However although Edward (and Jacob) are a constant presence in the story they never actually make an appearance. This is all about Bella and the choices she makes. I loved the ambiguities and uncertainties that were left. I am not a fan of tying everything up over neatly at the end.
Review by dihenydd
Red by 22blue.
RED was an intriguing story that left me wondering. Does Bella stop seeing Edward now that she sees he has a family? What happens after "one"?
Review by rmcrms5
A very sophisticated story elegantly written. Just enough non judgementalism about the erotic asphyxiation to make it edgy. Perfectly paced with nothing superfluous and nothing missing.
Review by dihenydd
Fire, Blood, Truth by vampireisthenewblack
I really enjoyed this story, and selected it as my judge's pick in BtP, because I thought it fit the purpose of the contest very well. It's the story of Alec's change and the way Aro manipulates and possesses him when is he is young -- both as a human and as a vampire -- and what goes through Alec's mind all the while. It's twisty, and it may squick some due to the sexual content, but this author did a great job portraying a taboo vampire situation without making it gratuitous. The entire time I read, I was simply fascinated.
Review by Sweet Dulcinea
Delight, Delectation, Divine by snshyne
Darksper. Need I say more? I found this story to be an interesting and intriguing depiction of an extremely dark Jasper . . . but as a gifted human. It was weird and creepy in parts, and I'd say that near the end, things went far . . . maybe a little too far. But at the same time, that was what made it truly go beyond the pale, into a place where readers might feel uncomfortable; it was a brave choice by the author, but I thought it worked. And the end of this one . . . oooooohh! Loved it!
Review by Sweet Dulcinea
Typically, I don’t read Jasper centric fics, but I have to say how much I loved snshyne’s dark take on him. Given his canon talents, it’s so easy to see how he could fall victim to his ability to sense and manipulate emotions. However, I wouldn’t categorize this particular Jasper as a victim of himself. No, this sinister Darksper was rather intriguing in a delightful and delectable way.
Review by 22blue
Bleeding Out by morethanmyself
This is one of those stories I’m almost afraid to admit to how much I relate to it. But I do. Morethanmyself has braved a subject that could never be talked about with fellow parents or even their own husband – how would a mother and wife be seen who’s outwardly admitted to have been weighed down by the monotony of her own family? It’s not that simple, however, it’s much more. The complexity of the thoughts and feelings of the narrator is palpable and, as I’ve stated, so very relatable.
Review by 22blue
I cannot praise this story highly enough. I found it stunning. However it is hard to say much without giving anything away. Suffice to say that it felt so intensely personal that I felt voyeuristic.
Review by dihenydd
Proxy by MarchHare5
This colored my world in blurry lines of sympathy.
Bella is married to Carlisle whom is unable to perform his husbandly duties in the bedroom. With heartbreak and hope the reader is left at a crossroads.
After the dinner scene we enter the Cullen home where Edward Masen agrees to become Carlisle’s proxy and each fine detail left my heart pounding.
The contest was about pushing the envelope, about tearing down the walls of our own judgment. MarchHare5 certainly gave this complicated affliction the sympathy and enticement it deserved.
Review by luvrofink
The Taste of Blood by InDiscord
The Taste of Blood is a story that explores exactly that - blood play. While the theme might be one that we've all seen before in this fandom, InDiscord cleverly turns it on its head and gives us something unique, and surprisingly...sweet. I know - it's a weird term for a story that explores some fairly squicky subject matter but it's the touching vulnerability of the main characters that stole my attention. Their innocence, and the sense of wonder they share as they explore the limits of their relationship helps this story push right up to the line but it doesn't go over - certainly taboo but still tasteful. The Taste of Blood was InDiscord's first story and I for one am eagerly looking forward to reading more from her.
Review by Sweetp-1
I never thought I would see the day that I described blood play as sweet. Then I read this story. It is very sweet and very hot, in a twisted kind of way.
Review by morethanmyself
I liked this because it really did push some serious limits for me. Blood play I'm good with, it was the blood play while Bella was menstruating that normally would have hit some squick buttons. And yet, it didn't. InDiscord described the act—all of the acts within the story—in a way that made me see the beauty of it. Also, it was beautifully written, the kind of prose that I can read over and over again.
Review by vampireisthenewblack
Creepy – sort of. I liked this one shot, and can definitely see how then end would be the epitome of sexual blood play. Kind of icky, but they found their equals in each other, and I can’t help but wonder what will happen with these two, though?!
Reviewed by 22blue
It's strange how an activity that between vampires is something we have come to accept (yes even the menstruation scene) but changing the protagonists to humans and it suddenly becomes taboo. Very cleverly and sweetly realised.
Review by dihenydd
En Pointe by wombatkat
Bella Swan is the linchpin of a very different sort of treaty between vampires and wolves in wombatkat's "En Pointe." When a dark, dangerous Edward demands her as part of the bargain to keep the peace, Bella seals the treaty by agreeing to be his slave despite Jacob’s protests. Domward appears to have all the cards, whips and restraints, and incorporates Bella’s dread of her ballet lessons into her punishments as his sexual slave, but I suspect this Bella has the power to tame him. Luckily, wombatkat has continued the story, so we’ll get a chance to find out.
Review by writingbabe
Wombatkat already knows this, but I had to set podette down not once, not twice, not three - but four times while reading this story. The things this boy says and does to this girl go above and beyond the call of AU sex appeal.
I’ve never read something so deviant, and so tenderfeeling at the same time.
There’s a slowmoment in this story; a really slowed down moment, that zooms so far in on the contact between Edward and Bella that I almost feel like a voyeur while reading it.
Attention to and respect for a single photo prompt: Check.
Teetering right up to the line without crossing it: Check.
Exploration of and respect for taboo content: Check. Check.
New hottest vampward lemon I’ve ever read: MotherfuckingCheck.
Seeking to teach Bella a lesson about the impossible; Edward is all authority, all dominance, and all the things that are best for Bella - his cut. His earnings after a sort of war. She went willingly, and stays willingly - but she’s his. In every sense of the word.
There’s growling and condescending, and orders and spankings, and oh my goodness gracious the things he says!
“You will get to class on time.”
He gave me a thrust. I moaned at how he filled me.
“You will be a good little pet.”
He pushed twice, hard and fast. I gasped and rolled my hips upward.
“You will study and please me at my leisure.”
Hard and fast and smooth... I felt the fire build in my stomach. Blood dripped from my shoulder and he licked it.
“You will remember your place or I will break the treaty. I will go back there and end that dog you love.”
En Pointe; now two chapters in with plans to continue (la beep!!), is currently at the top of my juiciest, most wonderful AU citrus list. You are totally missing out on the most twitterpated tummy butterflies if you’re not reading this.
Review by Yellowglue
This Woman’s Work by NitaReality
For This Woman’s Work, Mz. Nita plucked her pictorial inspiration from it’s computer-screen frame and placed it perfectly inside her heart-breaking story. Of all the entries I read, this one used the image most effectively and intuitively. “In her perfect little subdivision filled with perfect little soccer moms, sitting alone on her perfect little street, it took 30 minutes for someone to stop and try to speak to her.” She writes, and I feel the disconnection that Bella feels toward her entire neighborhood as a very real cultural wound.
Without giving away too much of the story, please know that Carlisle plays his role perfectly in this tale, and gave my heart a small nugget of peace.
Edward's part in this painful play was a relief too. Nita's characterizations are a keen play on canon; unexpected but entirely needed.
This story brought up so many feelings in me. A Mother’s pain for her children is unbearable on a good day, and the thought that anyone, this Bella included, would have to survive that kind of hurt made me weep. To sabotage your entire life for the sake of your children’s future, even though they’ll hate you, takes a deep kind of bravery.
This is the kind of story that makes me remember why I love fan fiction so much. It reminds me of what I’m capable of, both as a mother and a writer.
Review by Portia Khalo
This story haunted me for days after I read it. It is beautifully written with heartbreaking imagery. One line that stayed with me, “She looked down at her hand, finding it was wrapped tightly around a knife, almost in a lovers caress of an aroused cock; a knife firmly implanted into the life-source of her victim.” What made it taboo is how nitareality perfectly captures the feelings of inadequacy that a woman can feel in everyday life – a feeling that is common but rarely spoken of. Through intermingling past and present storylines, the reader is able to get inside Bella’s head and connect with her and her pain.
Review by arden8283
The Boy Who Came Between Us by Kimmydonn
Very intense and very raw. I found interesting the idea of Alice being so selfless and attuned to her friends, that she was ready to sacrifice her own happiness for the sake of her best friends. It was almost too much how willing she was to give up her own love. Too bad it didn't help. From the beginning, when I learned about Edward's coping mechanism, till the end when he gave up on himself, gave up on his own life, I felt helpless myself. Excellent writing, very well done piece.
Review by Detochkina
The Wait, by netracullen
If there's anything beyond the pale, it's having an affair with your sister's husband. The good sister's husband. The sister who helped you. In netracullen's "The Wait," Edward is married to Bella's sister Alice, but Bella and Edward's attraction is undeniable. Their affair deepens until Alice's pregnancy forces Edward to make a choice. And he chooses his wife and child. Bella's choice? To wait. That's what I'm doing, too: waiting and hoping netracullen continues this wonderfully moody fiction populated with fascinating, flawed characters. There are no heroes here, just shades of grey. And grey is my favorite color.
Review by writingbabe
I'm not sure I can pinpoint exactly why this story tied my heart up in knots, but it did. The story is a heartbreaking and I think the indefinite ending makes it more so, we're just left with this image of broken and discarded Bella determined to wait forever.
Review by morethanmyself
'The Wait' is a tale brilliantly written - the sentiments weaving through the
story fluidly – with an equally intriguing plot. The author manages to
capture the emotions seamlessly, whilst maintaining the integrity of the
characters. It is a heartbreaking, gut-wrenching tale of blooming love and
the tragic loss of the same. At first glance it may seem like the ideal story
based on adultery, but if you look deeper, you will find that it is so much
more. Truly worth a read, a review and ample appreciation.
Review by obsessed.cheela
Vanishing by SwedenSara
This story, like all the stories in this contest, deals with dark themes. After a traumatic attack by some boys from school, Alice seeks to find a way to ensure that the same thing doesn't happen again. Hating the way her body has developed she decides that the way her body looks is the one thing that she can have control over.
This story is a very insightful look into the mind of an anorexia sufferer. SwedenSara has obviously had some exposure to this horrible disease and she sensitively details the twists and turns of Alice's mind. She shows how easy it can be to slide into anorexia.
I was incredibly moved by SwedenSara's story and found myself thinking about it for days afterwards.
Review by Annetteinoz
Not an easy story to read. The assault was dealt with very well - not exploitative yet filling you with a sense of revulsion and anger. The mechanics of the disease are exceptionally well described in terms that make it understandable and make it feel like it has its own internal logic.
Review by dihenydd
